That Time I’m Going To Go To Vegas

After carefully thinking it over (for like 20 seconds), I decided to sign up for Bloggers in Sin City – a wicked blog ‘unconference’ in Vegas. I went in 2010 and had a blast, I’m hoping this time I’ll get to spend more time with some of the people I briefly met that year, and make new, amazing friends.

Our Scavenger Hunt Team 2010

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Once Upon A Time in Mexico

Fridays should be quick and easy and take minimal energy (TWSS?). Here are a few of my highlights from Mexico – Mexico City, Oaxaca, Acapulco, Puerto Escondido and San Cristobal de las Casas.

And people think Canadian money looks fake…This is worth about $30.
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2011 – Or The Year I Stayed Out of My Comfort Zone

I remember being younger and thinking that in the year 2000 I would be sixteen, and how awesome and mature I would probably be. Then 2000 came and I was a 16 year old – you know, the kind who thinks they are awesome and mature (read: every 16 year old).

Fast forward 6 years to when I was 22 years old. In those 6 years I’d started working as a waitress, moved out of my parents house, in with a boyfriend, broken up with said boyfriend, moved in with a friend, got involved with another guy who I then moved in with, started working in the Oil & Gas industry and then broken up with that boyfriend and moved in by my lonesome.

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20 SB V-Log Day*

This video post is part of 20SB’s Vlog Day and the topic is “Introduce Yourself”…anyone can participate! Details are here.

A whole bunch of bloggers are posting videos today introducing themselves, I thought it would be fun to join the party, so here you have it:

*I say V-Log, you say Vlog, we can still be friends.

PS – I have a site set up at http://www.connectingtheblackdots.com however, I couldn’t figure out how to embed this video in WordPress. WordPress confuses my poor brain.

Paradise Hunter

Aka: my DREAM job!

I just found out about this competition and it’s absolutely freaking perfect! It’s to be the host of a travel show called Paradise Hunter. The cut-off for applying is today and since I only just found out about it, I submitted my video yesterday – eep!

I need your help – please click the link, watch my video and vote for me! You can vote once a day for the next week and since I’m really late applying, I need all the help I can get:

http://www.paradisehunter.com/vote/Jen.johnson.html

This would be the most amazing thing ever, so c’mon click through and vote!

PS – you don’t have to put your name and email address in, just the verification code and hit vote. Thanks everyone!

Why I’ll Never be A Hairdresser

I didn’t realize that here in Vegas you can buy professional hair dye just as easily as box dye if you just try a little harder than googling “beauty supplies” and giving up after a few minutes to walk to the nearest CVS because that store is EVERYWHERE. And also you are impatient and need to dye it like now.

And by you I mean me.

So after I unsuccessfully tried to put two boxes of “light brown” dye over my previously blonde locks, my hair turned a weird shade of dark red, brownish green. I don’t think the green tinge is overly apparent but in the light you could see it.

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Why I’ll Never be A Concert Pianist

Perfectionist. Overachiever. Organized.

These are all things I’ve never been accused of being, though my resume may say differently. Then again my resume also says “plays the piano” and if you all want to know how that turned out:

 

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Life Lessons

My dad and I drove down to Vegas from Calgary this week, with a detour to Yellowstone National Park. It was a long drive but beautiful and we had a really good road trip. My dad made me laugh unintentionally a million times; he reminds me of $#*! My Dad Says.

For example when he was in the hospital a few months ago, my sisters and I went to visit him around 11 am:

Dad: “I hate it here. They won’t let me shower. And I haven’t even gotten a paper today”
Me: “Want me to run downstairs and grab one for you?”
Dad: “No! Why would I want this morning’s paper? That’s old news.”

I thought I’d share some of his road trip wisdom.

On Saving a Couple Bucks:

I go to turn off the lights as we’re leaving the hotel

Dad: “Don’t turn out no lights, they can god damned well pay for that electricity. Cheap bastards don’t even include breakfast.”

We’re running out of gas and see a turn off, the next sign says Gas – 5 Miles

Dad: “I’m not driving 5 bloody miles to get gas! What the hell kind of a scam is this? I’d rather run out.”

On Law Enforcement:

Dad: “I’ve never gone through Idaho without getting a ticket. It’s like driving in BC” (where he gets a ticket. Every. Single. Time.)

5 seconds later, the speed limit = 55 mph:

Dad: “I think that’s a cop…should I fly by him at 65? …I’m gonna.”

Outside the Idaho border

Me: “Well! You made it through Idaho without getting a ticket!”
Dad, sounding forlorn: “It’s a new record.”

On Being A Dad

As we’re leaving the hotel I realize I forgot my swimsuit in the last hotel, sadly 400 miles behind us

Dad: “Don’t forget nothin’ again. I didn’t think I had to be following you around like a little baby. I don’t wanna hear no more sob stories.”

On Religion

Upon arriving in Utah I note the slogan is “The Elevated State”

Dad: “That’s because we’re in Mormon country. You can’t walk 2 feet without tripping over one”


I asked why they have these signs
:      

Me: “What’s with the beehives?”
Dad: “Bees are really religious animals”
Me: “…how come?”
Dad: “because they swarm.”

On Sightseeing

I asked if we were going to be near the Grand Canyon and if so can we stop? We figured out it was over 100 miles out of the way.

Later on, as we’re driving through Arizona:

Me (looking at the map): “We’re only in Arizona for about 50 miles”
Dad: “And the whole thing looks like the goddamn Grand Canyon”

I’ll leave you with this quick video:

Why I’ll Never Be A True Las Vegas-anite (Las Vegan?)

Vegas is a confusing, overwhelming, daunting, looming kind of place. As soon as you step off the plane you’re assaulted by dinging machines, smoky air, flashing lights, and throngs of tired, hungover people. Your eyes glaze over practically instantaneously and the sounds make you want to reach for an aspirin. Which is conveniently sold in machines lining the huge hallways. 

Luckily my dad and I drove down here – essentially avoiding all the parts of Vegas that make you want to stab yourself. 
 
The first time I came to Vegas I was 8, so let’s ignore that for a minute because to me Vegas = stuffed animals, watching movies and ordering pizza with my older sister and cousin. Don’t worry we also got to go to Disneyland on that trip. 
 
So the REAL first time I went to Vegas was 2 and a half years ago. I came down with one of my good friends when our original trip (to Mexico) was cancelled because of the swine flu. We spent pretty much the whole time lying on the “beach” at Mandalay and dancing at the clubs. 
 
The next time I came down, a year later, was to visit my dad. My younger sister and I spent the week exploring the area around Vegas, the “local” hang-outs and of course, a few casinos. 
 
Eight days in Vegas was actually very palatable when most of it was spent away from the strip. 
 
Then there was BiSC (for those who don’t know – rainbow amazing) but the problem lay in the fact that I stayed too long. Most people arrived Thursday or Friday and left Sunday. I arrived Wednesday and left late Monday night. 
 
When you spend time in Vegas, on the strip, having an amazing time and then all of a sudden you’re alone and your hotel room has too much oxygen and the finale of LOST is on but all you want to do is curl in a ball and rock yourself to sleep, weeping – well let’s just say the thought of spending any more time in Vegas makes you want to punch small animals. 
 
So naturally here I am – in Vegas. Again. 
 
Nobody’s ever accused me of being rational. 

Phone-Sex, Malaria and Also Some Advice

If anyone has any guaranteed Get-Rich-Quick schemes I would really like to hear about them. I’ve been contemplating everything from selling drugs to escort services to phone-sex operator.

(shut up, I totally look like this)

Sadly I wouldn’t know where to get the drugs to sell, am nervous on first dates and would giggle incessantly at getting paid to talk dirty.

These qualities do not a highly paid escort/drug dealer/phone-sex-operator make.

I figured out that to be comfortable and not worry about money I need about $6400 to last me until the end of January.

I leave next Monday.

Planning your life fail.

I redid a budget and actually should be okay as long as I stick to it and don’t go crazy buying copious amounts of kitschy “plastic grumpies” (as my dad calls souvenirs) and expensive meals. And also I might have to sleep on the street with a hat beside me just in case anyone feels like dropping money in it. Or you know, whatever.

And also? I was going to leave Oct. 1st then there was a whole medical scare thing with my dad so we were going to delay our trip for a month, but it turned out to be totally not anything thankthesweetbabyjesus (note to everyone: make sure your pops checks his prostate after age 40. And guys you too. Just do it. Oh and girls, feel your boobies).

Once he got the A-ok from his doc, he called me up to say we’re leaving as originally planned. Which now gives me a week and 3 days to sort my life out, donate stuff, transfer my phone to my sister, pack my bags, renew my drivers license, throw a going-away party, learn to hula-…well you get the point.

There’s a crap-load to do.

On top of that I have my hands in like 8 proverbial pots (cookie jars?). Looking at freelance writing, applied for a few things online, looking at starting a business (might be too much to deal with right meow), looking at making this video for this thing (how appropriately vague).

So yeah, my mind is all “why are you drinking so much coffee late at night when you know it makes you stay awake applying for jobs you’re probably not qualified for and scheming things that are good in theory but maybe not practical and maybe, actually really, you should be getting some sleep every once in a while and not just stressing over Things That Cannot Be Changed”

Like the fact that I should probably maybe just go get some Adavan but it is known to worsen asthma and oh god I need to get my inhalers that cost $100 a month and I’m gone for a year so pair that up with my birth control and malaria pills (sexy) and all of a sudden I owe the pharmacist about $1500.

So yeah, I’ll fork over the cash.

I just need to practice saying “Give it to me bad boy”…

*giggle*

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