Category Archives: put away the black hair-dye

All Aboard the Sunshine Express

Well that about wraps up emo-week in Average-Land, hope you enjoyed your stay! That’s right kids, turn off that Moss Icon, put down the knife and crawl out of bed; we’re back on the happy-train.

So since I’ve been having such great luck over on one dating site, I signed up for another. They emailed me about 6 times telling me I could have a free trial for the weekend (I guess I smell like desperation even through the internets). So I filled out the survey and jumped on in.

With the free trial I can review other peoples profiles but until I pay money I can’t see their pictures. I can also start a “Guided Communication” with someone or answer questions that they’ve asked “potential matches”.

So now, instead of being able to be judgmental and weed guys out based on if their picture is just their stomach taken by themselves in a mirror (WHY do guys feel like that’s a good profile picture?) I have to actually go through the profile. And we all know how honest people are on those.

Why yes, in my spare time I enjoy dissecting Weber, or listening to Vivaldi while organizing my spice-rack alphabetically, maybe traveling around the world in a week and painting Dali-inspired masterpieces. Did I mention my love of children and small animals? Can I tell you how beautiful your eyes are?

Wait let me just grab my vom bucket.

So I’ve been filling out “communication surveys” for the last hour. It’s actually kind of addicting in some sort of weird narcissistic way.

There does seem to be a lot more to go through when you pay to use a site but I can’t wrap my head around paying a couple hundred bucks to get more “hey baby” emails. I’ll just have to see how this free trial goes…

Sorry about all the snarky quotation marks. I can’t seem to help myself.

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