Category Archives: pig roasts are gross

Shit Gets Weird

My weekend was ridiculously random. My plans of sitting at home in my PJs watching ANTM reruns while eating popcorn and chocolate were completely thwarted.

I had a craptastic night at work on Friday – mostly because I had a table of moms that left me ten dollars on a $300 tab and were rude to me the whole time they were in. Thanks for letting me pay tipout to serve you and your bratty children. Bitches.

Anyhow, my manager sent me home first because I was whining about these idiots plus we were slow and he needed to cut someone. I ended up going to Bamboo with a couple of girl friends to have a few drinks and “relax”.

Well, PartyGirl was out in full force, dancing with randoms and buying everyone jagerbombs. A group of people we met were super awesome fun and invited us to their place to play Rockband after the bar. Since Partygirl lived right by them we decided that we may as well head over.

There were three guys and two girls in this group that we met, all of them hilarious. PartyGirls friend fell asleep right away when we got to their house but the rest of us stayed up playing Rockband and Neggling (a form of a drinking game commonly known as Stump – in this version you hit your own nail though and the last one out has to shotgun a beer).

PartyGirl left around 5 am to crash at her place, I stuck around playing Rockband before finally falling asleep on the couch. At 8 am I was woken by a flurry of activity. Apparently my new friends were heading out camping and leaving very soon.

I was planning on calling a cab but the two girls insisted on driving me home. They are both from Edmonton so the only concern was them not getting lost on the way back.

Well, we get to my place and the girls (let’s call them Caz and Zing) are like: “Fuck that, you’re coming with us. We’re kidnapping you!” I had planned to go to a going away party that night but wasn’t too concerned about it as long as I was back for the football game on Monday. After a few minutes they convinced me that camping was a really good plan. I ran in, packed a bag and hopped back in the car.

The drive out there was hilarious. Us three girls went in one car and the 4 boys in another. While we were waiting for the boys to get ready (seriously what the hell? Guys take WAY longer then girls to get organized!) we played a drinking game. I was assigned black cars and Caz was assigned white. Zing was the driver so she got orange cars (of which we luckily saw only one). Everytime that color car passed, you had to take a drink. Keep in mind we were waiting for the guys by a major highway through town.

By the time we rolled out of town, Caz and I were feeling pretty tipsy. 11 am drunks – Klassy. We only got lost about 6 times trying to find this friend of theirs property. It was gorgeous once we found it though. He had a huge land overlooking the lake out by Radium in BC. So gorgeous. Even the outhouse was built on a hill facing the lake, with only half a door. Room with a view indeed.

We set up the tents and air mattresses and moseyed on down to the BBQ pit where they were roasting a giant pig. I’m sorry but any animal that I see cooking with a tail still intact is NOT going in my mouth. I am a city girl. The sight of blood running down a carcass makes me want to vom hard-core.

I don’t care how delicious it supposedly is.

So basically the afternoon and evening was spent hanging out with 40 random people (most of them didn’t know each other either so I actually wasn’t left out at all), playing Neggling and horseshoes, eating a huge buffet, drinking beer and singing by the campfire.

I also played bocci ball for my first time ever. My teammate wasn’t good either so we got beaten pretty badly but it was still so much fun. Playing bocci on a mountain with trees, hills, tents and logs is a challenge to say the least.

As we were standing around the campfire I started talking to one of the guys there, he asked who I knew and I sort of laughed:

“Well I met this group yesterday”
“So…who here have you known for more than 30 hours?”
“Uh, well, no one”
“That’s awesome”

Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

If it hadn’t poured rain starting at 2 am and continuing all throughout the next morning, we probably would have stayed. As it turned we drove back to town Sunday after a bad, expensive meal in Radium. Gotta love tourist hubs. I exchanged numbers with their guy friend who was flirty and cute (my bocci-ball teacher) and with the girls. I guess next time I’m in Edmonton I have a place to stay.

Monday morning, Blondie and I were up at the crack of dawn to go for brunch at the Brown Paper Bag Boys’ house (the group of guys we always go to the football games with). Even though we were almost 3 hours late we still managed to get a solid couple of hours of drinking and eating in before we had to leave to meet Boobie McGee and Blondie’s roommate, Curly, and go to the football game.

The game was so cold and boring (lets just say the Stamps lost by a lot) that one of the BPBBs and I decided to leave to go tailgating. We met an awesome group of people and drank beers while cheersing the cops until the game was over.

By this point we were all exhausted so Blondie, Curly, Boobie McGee and I rented a couple of movies, made some stuffed chicken, rice and salad and parked on their couches for a few hours with glasses of wine.

It was a perfectly random, perfect weekend.
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