Category Archives: FAILures

Because We Needed Another Reason to Dislike Nickleback

It’s been a celebrity filled year up here in Average-Land. First we had the Trailer Park Boys in January, then Tori and Dean, later that same week we had the choreographer from Dancing With the Stars – Jean Luc Godard and yesterday we had two of the members of Nickleback.

Do you people in the States get subjected to these guys? If so, I’m very sorry – they actually stemmed from Alberta (in a small town butt-f*ck nowhere, but still Alberta) so I do apologize and I promise not all bands here are that repetitive or shitty.

Sure they had a good start, a few catchy tunes, but then their music started going downhill faster then my last relationship (and that’s fast). There’s a radio station in Calgary that actually has a No Nickleback Guarantee, and they stand by it proudly.

Last night after they played in Calgary, two of the guys came in and were sitting at the bar. I don’t know if they expected special treatment (they did) but we were super busy with the post concert and post music society concert rush. I got about 8 large tables in all at once and my bartender probably got 5 and he had to make all the drinks.

The two Nickleback guys were with another guy who has been into our restaurant before. He’s the one who told us who these guys were. After Bartender served them each a few drinks it was dying down and we were thinking about doing last call. Most of my tables were finishing up. Nickleback dudes asked Bartender for a couple more drinks and because they were friendly enough, Bartender gave them each a shot as well.

So last call is over, these guys have three double rye Pepsi’s each in front of them and they go outside for a smoke. We see them go into the hotel lobby across the street and head into the lobby bar. Bartender heads over there to see what they’re doing and tells them they’ve still have to come back and pay their tab. They promise they’ll be right back over.

We leave their drinks at the bar and finish everything else up. By now it’s been over half an hour and Bartender sees them outside smoking by the hotel (none of these guys was the lead singer btw – apparently he’s not a douche says our friend who has partied with him before). Bartender heads over to the tallest one and says:

BT: “Listen man I need to do my cashout and close up here”
NB: “Oh ya for sure man, you need to get shit done. How much is the tab?”
BT: “it’s at $115 bucks”
NB (as he pulls out a wad of cash): “Here you go man, thanks a lot” (hands BT $120)
BT: “Really?”
NB: “Ya man it’s all yours. Great job man”
BT: “Really?! 5 bucks, really?” he shakes his head and comes back to the restaurant. Right before he gets inside he says to the guy “I hooked you guys up and you’re giving me five dollars? Really?”

Basically Bartender had to serve them past last call, gave them free shots, had to chase them down twice, and got a super shitty tip when they finally paid.

So we drank their untouched rye’s.

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