Category Archives: coincidentally my Porsche also ran out of gas

A Few Observations

While outside yesterday, picketing for the fair treatment of the Goji berry, I realized a few things about my fine city.

1. People in Calgary really like to drink

It doesn’t matter if it’s Monday or Thursday, if it’s nice outside there are a lot of people sitting on the patios, drinking beer and eating dry ribs, nachos or some other deep-fried goodness that goes with beer. I don’t just mean the young 20-something trendy crowd, I’m talking about the business men, the retirees and the underagers. They all come together in the spirit of comraderie and getting wasted on a weeknight.

2. Construction workers aren’t just looking at your boobs

Ok, Ben – remember how we were saying people don’t compliment shoes enough? I swear this happened to me yesterday: I was walking along, minding my business when I passed 4 young construction/landscaper type guys. As I get closer one says: “Hey! Those are hot shoes!” another guy with him is all “Whew, those are sexy!” I’m not kidding. Of course, as I walk away they yell: “Not as sexy as your ass!” Some things never change.

3. Bums don’t want money, they just want love (or possibly beer)

There’s this one bum (is that PC?) that hangs out around my work. He’s the scruffiest looking guy: tall, unshaven, unkempt, wears 50 layers of clothing in the summer and somehow it’s all clothing that you’d either find on a young skater-boy or your Grandma, always seems drunk and/or high, looks about 62 but may actually be 26 – you know the type.

Anyway, he has these stories about why he needs money. Yesterday he told me his Porsche ran out of gas and he needed some change to go get a jerrycan. Last week he told me he was saving up money for tap-dancing lessons. Before that it was that his canoe oar snapped and he needed to buy some new wood.

Here’s the thing though, I really think he just wants to talk to people. I mean sure, change is great and all but he seems a bit lonely and sad, even though he laughs as he asks you. Yesterday I spent 7 minutes exchanging jokes with him. I know this because I had given myself 10 minutes to get to work and ended up being there 7 minutes late.

After I left, I could hear him laughing to himself down the street. Whether it was the jokes or the voices in his head I couldn’t tell you.

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