It’ll Be A Work Of (Interpretive) Art
So if you’ve read my blog for a while you may remember me saying that I’m a great cook but a terrible baker. All that measuring and exactness and precision. I’m way better at throwing a bunch of junk in a pan or pot or BBQ or grilling up some deliciousness.
Seriously.
Remember when I made baked mac n cheese and used a very wrong ingredient? How about that time I screwed up meringue by thinking cream of tartar and tartar sauce were the same thing (they’re really not)?
And then there was the time after my first niece was born. I tried to make this delicious and adorable baby block cake for the surprise baby shower:
Adorable! It looked easy in the instructions – one sheet cake, a bunch of different icings, a piping bag and some little sugar candy animals, how hard can that be, right?
Wrong.
There are approximately 3 different WRONG icings in this picture, not to mention the deformed, crumbly, fingerprinted mess of cubes that literally fell apart as I tried to ice them. I think that empty glass probably had some Vodka to dull the pain of FAILure.
Yup, here’s my lovely masterpiece:
I threw it in the garbage.
So, I’m planning on making a cake for a birthday dinner I’m going to on Wednesday. There are 6 of us celebrating our birthdays in April (mine’s April 18th – now you have enough time to make me something extra especially awesome by then kthxbai)
25 of us are going for a nice dinner to a restaurant with free corkage, that’s right FREE. Meaning we will each bring a bottle of wine and get extra especially drunk, so that when it comes time to present my cake, everyone will be too drunk to care what it looks like.
Hopefully.
Some More Irony
Bro is my old boss’ brother. He’s really nice and very charismatic; he was working up North so I hadn’t seen him since Christmas. The Russian is my ex-boyfriend from High school who I hadn’t seen since then until he came into my (old) work one day with his (kinda?) friends. He was the first guy I really cared about and we went through a lot together.
This is how my messed up life works…I hadn’t seen either of them in a while and kind of even forgot about both of them since, you know, life happens.
Well Friday night guess who comes into the Restaurant and sits at my bar…Bro. He told me he was even going to call the restaurant to make sure that I was working but decided to just come see. Him and his friend hung out and drank for a couple hours, I chatted with him about his work and all that but I was really busy so didn’t really get to talk too much.
As they were leaving, his friend paid and left $150 for the $137 bill. I was kind of upset about it because I had given them a discount and everything but whatever. Bro came back from the bathroom though and shook my hand, stealthily slipping me $40 in the process. He’s back now from up North and won’t be going back until next year so he said he’ll call me and I guess we’ll see where that goes!
As for The Russian, Saturday night I had a girls night with some friends. We drank a ton of wine and champagne and then headed out dancing. As I’m outside smoking, who do I see but the Russian walking towards me. He grabbed me in a big hug and started going on about he dropped his phone in beer or something so had obviously lost my number.
Him and his friend ended up hanging out with us girls for the rest of the night; dancing, drinking, all that fun stuff. I don’t know if it’s a Russian thing or what but he’s very direct. He asked me if I had loved him, he told me that seeing me again must be fate (it is kinda strange that I didn’t see him for over 7 years and then run into him twice in a few months, but fate? I dunno) and is totally comfortable asking potentially awkward questions.
He came over to my place after and it was fabulous. Gotta love not raising your numbers and still getting some. Especially when it’s way better then you remember. We actually had a really good conversation in the morning about life in general, what’s changed, what’s the same, my parents divorce, his stint in the army, everything in general.
As he was leaving he said “I’ll call you,” to which I replied “like last time?” and laughed. He could only shake his head and point to his new phone, which is apparently not covered in beer.
Of course, seeing the two guys I kissed a few months ago, randomly in the same weekend, after not having seen either for over two months WOULD only happen to me.