Just One of Those Random Things

During my little self-makeover/midlife crisis grocery shopping spree, I bought some Crest Whitestrips. My teeth are relatively white but I figure I can use a shade or two whiter and see how these things work in the meantime.

Today is day two of the process. Yesterday I left the things on for half an hour, when I peeled them off it was like I’d stuck my teeth in a vat of silicone – and I don’t mean like the time I accidentally bit Boobie McGee’s tit.

The strips are slimy and taste like a mixture of unclean draft-line sludge and iodine. Another thing I noticed – my teeth hurt. They feel like after you leave the dentist and they’ve taken that drilling apparatus to your sensitive gums and scraped for three hours. Well, I guess that’s why my hair dye says DO NOT SWALLOW. Apparently peroxide hurts the teeth.

Peroxide, silicone – if you didn’t know any better you’d think I was talking about Malibu Barbie.

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I spent most of the day today in Staffing Agency telephone interviews – wearing my PJs and slippers. Now that’s the way to do a job interview. You feel more relaxed, they can’t see the panic on your face when they ask why you left your last job and if your nose is itchy then by God you get to scratch it.

Too bad you couldn’t do a first date over the phone. The guy asks you a retarded question, you simply hang up. Date’s over.

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I’m debating whether to dye my hair blond again or go dark. I wore a wig to my friends party on Saturday night (it was a “P” party – you had to dress up as something that started with a “P”, Blondie and I went as Private Investigators). Almost everyone told me it looked great – but then again, they didn’t know it was a wig so perhaps they were trying to not hurt my feelings.

I’ve been dark before but I’m starting to really love the blonde. Maybe I’ll go blonde once more before the cold weather comes and then go dark.

That’s right, like a rabbit…actually, I think they’re the other way around. Whatever.

As you can see I didn’t even have to Black Stripe my eyes due to the stealth black sunglasses. Private Investigator indeed.

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13 responses

  1. You need to get the whitening strips that dissolve on your teeth so there is nothing to peel off. It is 10x better. The ones you peel off is disgusting — you don’t know where to put your tongue before you wash your mouth out!

  2. haha cute post. Good luck with the poisoning your teeth thing 🙂

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Go light once more then dark for the winter. You’ve got it right.Unless you were talking about your teeth…I wouldn’t be cool with that.

  5. Doh!.I was hoping the picture would get larger when I clicked on it but no. Go for the dark – if you don’t like it you can always go back…unless that expressions is true.

  6. I’ve n ever heard of a p party! It sounds like fun though!I know what you mean about the white strips, my teeth are very sensitive to that stuff but I use it cause who doesn’t love sparkly white teeth??

  7. ah, the first time i took off crest white strips, i thought my front teeth were going to fall out they hurt so bad.but i trekked on and forced my teeth to get used to them.

  8. My teeth are not completely white because I drink a TON of coffee. I Thought about getting those Crest White Strips because I swear by anything Crest does – you know, the Cavity Creeps and stuff.But then I realized I just don’t care enough to do White Strips.

  9. What were the other people dressed as?

  10. Pedophiles and priests.

  11. I like to use the strips, and forget to take them out.. I walk around all day talking with a lisp and wondering why my teeth are hurting..

  12. “accidently bit?” Yeah right…

  13. Look at his shirt.Is that a white rabbit?Alice? White rabbit?Ooooooh… eerie…

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