While Getting Lunch:

Business Woman #1: This girl at work today didn’t know that Benedict wasn’t the pope’s real name. So I told her that John-Paul II wasn’t the late pope’s name either, that it was Karol and that all popes need to choose a new name by which they wish to be inspired or wish to inspire themselves.

Business Woman #2: Kind of like strippers

At The Movies:

Teenage Girl #1: Like, what’s a millennium?

Teenage Girl #2: I think it’s like, when the time changes or something

At The Bus Stop:

Tired Guy: Once, I didn’t sleep for 7 days straight.

Girl: I had no idea that was even possible.

Tired Guy: Yeah! After 3 days you start hallucinating and stuff. Not like usual crawling stuff, real hardcore shit!

On The Street Corner:

A seemingly homeless man is sitting on the sidewalk with his two dogs. The two dogs are fighting playfully.

Agitated homeless man: “Hey, (inaudible dog name)! Don’t bug your sister or I’ll bite your fuckin’ head off!”

At The Restaurant:

Blonde Server: I’m thinking of getting glasses

Bartender: For reading or distance?

Server: Neither, just to make me look intelligent

Bartender: They’re glasses…not a magic wand

18 responses

  1. Overheard in my imagination:Entertainment Tonight: Dr Zibbs, what is that quality in you that enabled you to write that post about Bubble Up? Dr Zibbs: One word. Separated by a hyphen: “Pa-Zazz”.

  2. Was “blonde server” you by any chance???

  3. Man, your general surroundings have more wit per capita than mine, apparently.

  4. I ran into Tired guy once.I looked in the mirror.Hey-oh!

  5. I love overhearing (read: spying on) stranger conversations.It reminds me of a comedy bit by Lewis Black where he overhears a woman at a restaurant talking to her friend and uttering the sentence, “If it weren’t for my horse I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.” And over the course of time after that sentence is spoken his brain eventually explodes trying to imagine in what context, on what planet, in what dimension that makes any sense whatsoever.Beautiful.

  6. I weep for the next generation.And the dog’s name was Biscuits. I’m sure of it.

  7. hah. i need to be friends with bartender.

  8. biscuitinabasket | Reply

    Hey! leave the genii to work their magic!

  9. I once listened in on a great conversation on the bus between a homeless guy (or possibly an up-until-recently-homeless man) and what must have been his former case worker. It began with her asking him about his visit to the dentist and him spending fifteen minutes trying to get her to look at the tooth he had in a vial in his pocket.

  10. haha there’s nothing better than overhearing an amusing conversation.I once heard a girl on the train telling everyone she was going on 60 minutes to talk about how her man was crap in bed till he tried some nasal spray…

  11. Hahahaha. Man. that’s almost worst than the miss america thing.

  12. Finally, someone else made the connection between strippers and the Pope, just like me.

  13. I still like to think my glasses make me smarter, no one can convince me otherwise!

  14. When I become Pope I’m changing my name to Pope Fergalicious I with the hope that there’ll never be a Pope Fergalicious II.

  15. I bet the hardcore hallucinations start with seeing Fergie everywhere and get worse from there.

  16. That Pope/stripper thing is GOLD.

  17. Strippers and popes have much more in common than would think…

  18. Why is it totally ok to eavesdrop on conversations & post them; but if you look out your window w/ binoculars at your neighbors, it's considered wrong?

:: tell me something good ::

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