As I’m sitting in the bar enjoying my ice-cold beer (beer is 6% up here just so ya know – none of this 2.2% or whatever it is in the US of A, probably why Canada breeds alcoholics…) the fire alarm goes off but it’s the slow “maybe this isn’t really a fire just stay here and drink your beer” alarm.
Side note: it was to the exact beat of the song playing at the time. I may or may not have loudly sung a remix:
“May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, this is an alarm, but she ain’t hanging with no broke…no broke…may I have your attention please”
Well, once the alarm picked up speed so did my drinking. No way was I leaving that bar without finishing my hard earned beer. The fire trucks showed up and naturally we got kicked out. I guess people burning to death isn’t really covered on their insurance policy. Cheapskates.
Since my mix-master music career had been abruptly halted I decided to hop in a cab and go home. I realized that I had misplaced my little change holder in all the commotion about halfway home so I decided to strike a deal with the cab driver. I had more then enough bills to cover the fare but I needed change for the bus in the AM.
I tried to give him an American dollar bill for a loonie and he refused. When I explained my predicament he gave me a bus ticket and the American bill back.
C’mon guy, that’s gotta be worth at least 50 cents!*
* Please send all hate mail to aliceinaverageland at gmail dot com