Case(s) of the Missing Jacket

I have really bad luck with jackets. Not as in I can never find one I like, or that they don’t fit or anything but in that I lose them. All the freaking time.

I can think of several stories off the top of my head.

A few years ago I had this wicked mid-length jean jacket (you know the ones with the faux-fur trim – so in at the time). I loved that jacket. It was dressy enough to go with, well, dresses and casual enough to go with jeans. Anyway, New Years Eve we’re all on a pub crawl, boozing it up, flirting with random strangers and dancing on the tables (naturally if it’s a table-dancing story, I’m with PartyGirl/TitBags).

The party-bus driver told me my jacket would be safe resting on the bus and I drunkenly believed him. As I stumbled my way into bar three of the evening, I carelessly tossed that jacket on a seat. It would be the last time I saw it.

For a long time I refused to buy a winter coat. Maybe this is because I don’t believe in winter and if you don’t believe in something it probably doesn’t exist. Am I right? Apparently not.

Winter still comes, that bastard. So I bought a long white, down filled winter coat. It had a hood and was like being wrapped in a fire. Only without the unpleasant burning sensation and 2nd degree burns.

Super Bowl Sunday I was playing football with a huge group of people before going to a pub to watch the game. Naturally after exercising like that you’re hot and have no need for down-filled jackets so I left it in my friends car.

Well, I ended up leaving before him. Without my jacket. He soon moved to Vancouver and the white coat has never been heard from or seen since.

I have a laundry-list of poor innocent coats left behind at bars: cute little black blazer (RIP), short gray 3-buttoned wool pea-coat, brown plaid jacket, long black wool coat, jean jackets (times two), and beige corduroy blazer (I miss you).

I thought everything had gotten better. I bought a few new trench coats (including an adorable red one), a couple of blazers, 2 leather jackets, a few fleeces, a nice HH snowboarder coat from my parents – things were looking up.

I had gone months without losing anything. I was being responsible!

Then my home flooded. I packed away most of the jackets (as it was the middle of winter, I had no need for a short sleeved cape-style jacket). The rest I took with me to my parents house where I ended up staying for 4 months while they gutted my home and rebuilt it.

As I unpacked my boxes after moving back into my place I realized that a few important things were missing.

All of my jackets that I had stashed away for spring/summer/fall.

Every. Single. One.

I think maybe the movers stole them for their wives. Then again, maybe jackets just don’t like me.

17 responses

  1. This is why I have a few inexpensive jackets that I know I won’t mind losing. And ironically, I haven’t lost any of them. Murphy’s Law!

  2. How completely depressing. I may have just shed a tear.

  3. i STILL want one of those mid length denim jackets – is that wrong of me???also maybe its not that the jackets don’t like you . . . maybe its a conspiracy to get you to expose more flesh??? cos they think you should??? 😉

  4. If I see any movers walking around in red trench coats around here, I’ll be sure to tell you.

  5. Its never winter down here.Take that!

  6. I find a that an old blanket with a hole cut in it works just fine.

  7. I never wear a jacket because I just end up misplacing it. Especially in a bar… there’s like a 100% chance I will lose whatever I brought with me if I’m drunk.

  8. I sure don’t understand women. I have one winter jacket and no other jackets unless you include the shell of that jacket that I can take off and use when it rains in the summer, which is kinda nonsense because if it’s raining out, either I’m in my car or in my home. In Canada there is no spring nor fall and summer is t-shirt weather, so why any extra jackets? They’re like burdens – burdens that cost a lot of money and are rarely used except during transit. God bless you females and your funny ways that provide us men with hours and hours of painful but hilarious dissection and the occasional bout of nookie.

  9. Unfortunately, I have similar luck as you. However, it does not limit itself to just jackets. I have also been known to lose purses, shoes, cell phones, dignity, etc. Ah…laundry lists and irresponsibility. At least you’re not alone. 🙂

  10. Hmm. I think that the only logical explanation here is that you are totally cursed. My jacket problem is this: I hate wearing them, and when I do, nine times out of ten I lose a button or two. I think someone’s been eating them off when I’m not looking.

  11. I had the best jacket ever. It was a trucker jacket, bought at a vintage clothing store in Liverpool. It had the logo of some small town trucking company on it, and a name badge sewn in saying “Larry”. It became known as the Larry Jacket. It was frayed, ripped and tatty, but it mine, goddammit. It had loads of Tom Petty badges, patches and all sorts of stuff on it. Then I left it my mate’s car and someone stole it. The car, I mean.We were more upset about the jacket than the car. Ah, Larry, I wonder where you are now?

  12. 1. You + me? = jacket-losing twins. Seriously, I've lost so many jackets too. Sucks. My fav. one I lost (aka was stolen from uni) was an amazing soya&kyo grey plaid trench. It was AMAZING. And the sad part was I think someone stole it strictly for the ciggarettes in the pocket. (Ciggarettes that weren't even mine!!!)2. You live in CALGARY!!! like the coldest place on the face of this earth!!!! How the heck do you pretend it's not winter??? If I lived in Calgary I'd buy the biggest, thickest, warmest coat available. And then wear 10 of them at once. Yes, I may resemble the micheline man, but at least I'd be WARM!!!!xx 🙂

  13. Jackets are worse than socks. I swear.

  14. All of this is still better than the movie <>The Jacket<>, however, but what isn’t?

  15. (un) – I'm that way with cell phones tooElle – I appreciate the empathy ;>Paula – No! Not wrong. I guess the jackets area bunch of whore-mongersSurviving – I'd appreciate thatRs27 – you winDr Zibby Zibbs – Doctor recommended?Maxie – yup 100% is about rightPoobomber – what if you see someone you know and you're wearing the same jacket as last time?! The horror!4 inch – Oh yes I've lost a purse or two (or a million), cells etc.Kez – I hate buttons! Imaginary – Poor Larry! Stolen for no real reason other then he was in the wrong place at the wrong timeCaz – people are jerks! Ya I try to pretend snow is tropical. It never works. m in sf – TrulyPistols – Good analysis…I've never seen that and now, never will

  16. Aww that’s tragic! I loose everything though and I’m constantly beating myself up for being irresponsible, ESPECIALLY when I’m drunk.

  17. <---sunglasses. i can't even bring myself to buy a pair that costs more than $15 anymore because if i'm lucky they'll make it one season. it's too bad though - a good jacket is hard to come by.

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