The Conch Soup Wasn’t That Bad….

Hi everybody! Nope, still not Alice. She’s still off having ridiculous amounts of fun that she will probably brag all about when she gets back. So today you are all stuck with me, Lyla. I usually bitch and moan about my ex boyfriend over here. Just kidding… he’s not the only thing I bitch and moan about.

I want to apologize to everyone in advance. This post might not make much sense because I plan on downing a bottle of wine while I type. Guest blogging makes me a little nervous, especially after reading all the awesome ones that have been up the last few days. Pretty intimidating.

Before she left us all to go have tons of fun I asked Alice if she had any ideas of topics I could use as motivation. Her suggestion was “I’m taking a trip somewhere….maybe you could write about a trip you’ve been on?”

I must confess that I do not travel well. I cry every time I take off and land in a plane. My stomach never agrees with the food. Any trip longer than 4 days and I’m upset and home sick. I’m a wimp like that.

But despite all those set backs I have managed to see some really wonderful places. I’ve been all over the US. From New York to California, Florida to Washington and everywhere in between. I’ve managed to make it up to Canada a few times and absolutely loved Vancouver and Victoria. most memorable vacation was, by a landslide, my trip to Nassau in the Bahamas. Most memorable not because of the beauty of the islands. Or the great food. Or the fabulous fun times getting drunk in the sun.

Nope. It was very pretty, and the sun was shiny and stuff, but it’s the most memorable for me because I was miserable the entire time. My mother(the greatest woman in the universe) planned the whole trip. 7 days of fun in the sun, completely paid for by her, for myself and my boyfriend.

Well, I’m sure you can probably guess what happened. 3 weeks before we were scheduled to leave, Skinny(the ex) dumped me.

Everything was already planned and paid for so we had no choice but to still go. Together. As EX-boyfriend and Ex-girlfriend. Were were trying to maintain a friendship so it didn’t seem like it would be that difficult to get along for a week. What should have been a relaxing week on the beach turned into us getting drunk everyday and discussing what went wrong with our relationship. An entire week of blaming the other person for everything that went wrong.

It’s a good thing we were able to switch our king bed for two doubles because one of us might have smothered the other in their sleep. Every night we’d stumble back to our room drunk and spend the next hour or so arguing from our separate beds before we fell asleep.

The last night we were there, I remember laying in my bed, the breeze from the open balcony door had that perfect salty beach smell. I could hear the waves from the ocean and the moonlight was just perfect. It was possibly the most romantic beach setting I’d ever been in but I was laying there crying because I felt so lonely. Over in his bed, Skinny was snoring.

At the time I was pissed. What a waste. But looking back on it….there really is no better way to find closure than to be forced to spend a week, sharing a room together, in a strange country where you have no one else to talk to.

So my advice to everyone that may be planning a trip with a bf or gf…..always have a back-up plan. You never know when you may get dumped.

11 responses

  1. You should have brought a different buff and dumb Bahamanian dude back to the room with you every night.Nothing says ‘closure’ like seeing your ex shagging someone in the bed next to you! (Or at least getting a little bit of a freak on.)

  2. What a horrible situation! It’s kinda like a movie scenario. I hate those “what went wrong with us” convos they’re so depressing, and I’m normally the one that screws things up.

  3. You did good here, Lyla. Especially with Benny undoubtedly demanding all of your attention. 🙂

  4. Lyla, I’m sure Alice told you that she said it was OK that I promote my blog here today so here goes: Hi. I’m Dr Zibbs from the famous blog THAT BLUE YAK. There’s a link on the side bar as Alice and I have exchanged links. That’s how close we are. I’d like to invite you to come on over and say hi. There are all kinds of crazy adventures happening over there. And the comments area? Forget about it. It’s like a party. Hysterical!

  5. the link to your blog doesn’t work

  6. I fixed the link, thanks for the heads up!

  7. I think this is the exact reason why I WOULDN’T want to book a holiday with a boyfriend – i would be too scared it would end before the holiday!

  8. HAHAHAHA @ Dr. Z. You’re such a whore.Lyla, great post! I winced reading it – that had to have been torturous! Gah.

  9. Whoa! What a nightmare!!!But yes, I can see how it might bring about a finality and closure to it all. What a survivor!

  10. That vacation at least provided you with this great story! You may even sell it to Hollywood and make a mint that you can use to taunt your ex in ridiculous ways. You could rent a blimp to go by his house and display the message “Skinny, You Suck!” You could hire a female PI to come up to him every time he’s on a date and yell at him for giving her the herps. The possibilities are endless.This may not be the noblest sentiment, but who dumps someone three weeks before a free trip? Geez, at least wait til after.

  11. Ouch Lyla! You have bad luck with the ex’s!! This post is great – thanks again!

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