I hope your tap-dancing lessons are going well! I found out today that you have a twin brother, who looks exactly like you. Does he have the same Nike Shox as you? If so, I think I may always think you are the same person. Sorry for the confusion, no wonder you looked at me like I was the crazy one when I asked you if you ever got a new oar.
I saw you and your brother fighting today. It saddened me deeply – family are the most important people in your life. Perhaps you were fighting over a female? Trust me, that blond woman who yells at people on patios and tries to grab their food is not worth a family feud.
Sure, if she stopped doing the crack and brushed her hair a little she could be pretty. If she ate something she could even be quite lovely but I’m sure there are more ladies for you two to deal with?
I thought I’d let you know that that new wave you are doing with your hair? Very Donald-Trumpesque! Dress for success they say! Kudos
Dear 50 People From Spain Who Walked Into the Restaurant at MIDNIGHT Last Night,
Hi again, I know you speak 2 words of English (and with the 14 Spanish words I speak it was quite the conversation we had!) but when I say the restaurant is closed at eleven, that generally means that we don’t serve 50 people after midnight. Good thing you were very nice and promised to tip me for 50 meals even if not everyone ate.
I understand that your flight was delayed from Spain, however, 9pm is quite a bit earlier then 12pm. Did you know Denny’s is open 24 hours? Same with McDonalds! Crazy Canadians and their 24 hour restaurants, I know.
Good thing I made an extra $250 from you, otherwise I’d be pretty pissed that I stayed until 3 am using sign language and broken Spanish. Have a great time here, but promise me; no more midnight rendezvous.
I’m just not that kind of girl.
Dear Hot Guy Giving Me Free Beer at Taste of Calgary,
What are you doing later?