Dream Weaver

So I’ve heard when you’re pregnant you have really strange dreams. I happen to have really strange dreams all the time (and no I’m not perpetually pregnant because that would be more than a little awkward).

For example last night I dreamt that I missed work (at my part time job), ran into my boss and her mountain bike and proceeded to explain to her that my key wasn’t working so I couldn’t go to work. We then went on a bike ride out to Banff where she proceeded to cry about some guy and we ate carrot muffins with raisins.

I used to have a reoccurring dream that I was in a red convertible (with different people in each dream) driving through the mountains. Then the car would fall – either off a cliff, off a bridge or in a weird turn of unfortunate events, off the end of a rollercoaster.

I’ve dreamt that I was a camp counsellor and the kids were trying to light shit on fire all the time. To get them to stop we had to throw ribbons around and braid each others hair. Wait, that was actually a scene in PollyAnna.

I’ve dreamt about pigs that danced (Gene Kelly style) in the rain dressed as police officers. Under their overcoats (since that’s obviously what dancing pigs wear) they all had knock-off watches they were trying to sell.

The weirdest thing that happens to me by far while I’m sleeping (other then Pistols watching through my window – I’m on to you buddy) is sleep-paralysis. I “wake up” but my body is still asleep. Basically, what happens is that you are totally completely paralyzed but your brain is awake.

Sometimes you even get fun hallucinations, like seeing a man standing at the end of your bed. Of course, you can’t turn on the light because you’re absolutely paralyzed and your brain doesn’t send signals to your body.

Now, it sounds terrifying and mostly it is, but the fun part about it is that a lot of people who get it think they’ve been abducted by aliens, had an out-of-body experience or seen a ghost. So any time I want to make up wild crazy stories about green toothed martians whisking me away to play bridge and drink swamp water, I have the perfect alibi!

No wonder my dreams are so messed up.

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15 responses

  1. <>I’ve dreamt that I was a camp counsellor and the kids were trying to light shit on fire all the time. To get them to stop we had to throw ribbons around and braid each others hair. Wait, that was actually a scene in PollyAnna.<>I’m pretty sure had I been drinking something while reading that it would have exited out my nose. Damn that was funny. Also, I need to re-rent PollyAnna. I don’t remember that scene at all.

  2. No I think the camp counseler scene is from Sleepaway Camp 2.

  3. What do you dream about marshmallows?

  4. your so lucky! I never remember my dreams or I’ll remember them right when I wake up and forget all about them. But i do know most of the time they’re absurd.

  5. I want to know why recurring dreams are ALWAYS, without fail, nightmares. Why can’t we have recurring, fluffy nice dreams?

  6. i have completely random dreams too! have no idea what they mean?!?!

  7. When I was little I used to wake up from nightmares and was absolutely sure there was someone in my room, I could see them, but I was so scared I couldn’t move. I didn’t know that this was actually a thing that happens to people!! I thought it was just me being so scared that I couldn’t move my body! Hasn’t happened since I was a kid though…maybe I grew out of it?Your dreams sound insane! Kinda like the ones I’ve been having on my Chantix. That’s hillarious about the alien abduction, and it totally makes sense.

  8. I have eye lid paralysis. I’m kind of awake, but I am dreaming about trying to open my eyes, but they won’t open, DEAR GOD WHY WON’T THEY OPEN!!!

  9. One of my friends in high school would sleep with his eyes open so I started throwing stuff at him and he chased me around the classroom when he “woke up”We got detention.sucka.

  10. In my defense, you wouldn’t put on those sexy old nightshirts to sleep in if you didn’t want me to stare at you. You also wouldn’t have windows in your place if you weren’t asking for creepy dudes to look in.God, it’s so obvious that you want me.

  11. I have dreams that I’m pregnant. All the time. In reality, I’d actually have to be be doing a little more than making out with someone for that to happen. but seriously. Biggest nightmare of my life.

  12. Fawless – PollyAnna, Anne of Green Gables, Corina Corina – I'm sure one of those movies must have something like that in itDr.Z – On second thought that does sound rightS&N – Sometimes that they're chasing me in pink tutusnritchie – I have a pen and paper beside my bed and I write down my dreams as soon as I wake up. Sometimse I can barely read my writing later but at least I get the general ideaAngela – no kidding, what about the great dreams where you are rich and famous? why can't that reoccur?Ringleader – I have a dream dictionary, it's strangely accurateLyla – Most people grow out of it, I only started getting it when I was 16 and not only after nightmares just randomly?! Oprah had a show about it recently actually.Rachel – Ha ha ya that sounds about rightrs27 – I bet you were in detention a lotPistols – am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby oh babyBloodredroses – Those are terrifying dreams, I've had a few and everytime I wake up in a cold sweat

  13. I had crazy random dreams while pregnant. Now mostly I have normal dreams about riding in cabs with mum and eating pizza sandwiches while drinking lemonade.

  14. I use to have paralysis dreams alot real scary at first but then not so bad once you figure out you are still dreaming and won’t die.

  15. Attachedmama – I don’t think your pizza sandwich dreams are exactly “normal”Lilo – ya it’s freaky hey? Mine are when I am actually awake though, not a dream! It’s a medical thing, weird stuff.

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