My sisters like to make fun of people, and while I’m far too mature for that sort of thing I love listening to them. We’re driving home after spending the last few days together in a hotel room with my parents, since we’re all too cheap to spring for our own hotel room when we can mooch for free off mum and dad. So we’re driving along the highway, feeling nauseous from the (ridiculous) amount of booze we’ve all consumed the night before.
Storelady – there are a couple stories to this nickname. Firstly, when the twins were born my parents told my older sister Dizzy (nicknamed such because I couldn’t pronounce her name as a wee child) and I that we could help name them. Dizzy (being 5) thought Twinkle and Star were great names. I (being a few months shy of 4 years old) went with Shopkeeper and Storelady.
Needless to say our parents promptly had both our tubes tied and did not go with those names. However, they like to tell us the story of what the twins would have been called had we been left in charge. Also, she really does work in a store so I wasn’t too far off the mark. Psychic 3 year old? I think so.
Anyway, Storelady (SL) was doing her usual thing, peering into cars we passed and making fun of their hair, make-up, clothes, choice of music, color of seats, number of passengers, whatever she could think of really, while Shopkeeper (SK) and I giggled beside her. We passed a trucker who had pulled to the side to let us by and when mum went to wave she realized we were already way passed him so tried to nonchalantly run her hand through her hair instead. Of course we made fun of her after that for about an hour.
When we got sick of listening to each other talk we put on a movie and made fun of it for two hours. Must Love Dogs? I’m sorry but most predictable movie ever. And what was with the 15 year old guy randomly showing up at Dolly’s? I guess that’s what we get for watching a romantic comedy starring Diane Lane. At least it kept us vaguely amused.
I was reminiscing about car games and music when really I should have been thinking about how many things we can possibly make fun of. Who knew that the gas pump you chose to go to can result in a five minute tirade about your poor driving skills, how you must have grown up in a trailer and where did you get that haircut anyway? Driving like an idiot? You must have taken lessons at the ABC Dirvers Ed [sic] School for Les Incompetents.
I’m pretty sure one of these days we’ll all be struck down by lightning, spontaneously combust while walking Grandma to church or perish in a fire of epic magnitude started by a stray BBQ spark landing on the pile of stickman drawings SK and SL keep for handy reference to former victims. At least there’s never a dull moment when SL and SK are around.